Lies and a Wolf Unleashed
by Kenjie11
Summary: Hawke has kept her powers hidden from Fenris for a while now, but she slips, healing someone from a fatal wound. Now that he knows, she fears he'll leave due to her lie. When she confronts him she finds he's been drinking again.


Closing her eyes Hawke let her hand pause above the doorknob to Fenris's mansion.  
>She knew had to apologize for hiding her powers from him.. She also knew that he'd probably hate her and act as coldly as he did with Anders and Merrill.<br>Taking a deep breath she eased the door open and took a few slow steps into the dark mansion and tried to hear where Fenris was.  
>The sound of a crashing bottle against something only assured her of what she'd been thinking. He was drinking, which would only increase his anger if she approached him. After a second of thought she decided that it'd be better if she came back another time, but thats when the angered elf emerged from his doorway, scowling at her from the staircase.<p>

"What are _you_ doing here"  
>The venom in his tone had her flinching.<br>"I-i came to apologize.. But.. Its obvious that I should come back later.. I'll leave now!"  
>He admission didn't seem to have any affect on him.<br>"You will do no such thing.. Come up here and tell me exactly how you had planned on telling me about your treachery"  
>Swallowing hard Hawke obeyed. Sometimes, Fenris had that affect on people. Especially when he was in one of his moods, it left absolutely no room for negotiation or excuses. You couldn't delay the inevitable any longer when his voice held that tone.<p>

As she moved up the stairs he moved away, making it so she had to enter the room first.. She couldn't stop the pang of sadness that shot through her, he'd never willingly let a mage out of his sight.. Which meant he'd never again trust her have his back. Once in the his room she turned around to find his pale emerald eyes staring down at her, filled with such hatred that she lost her voice.  
>The Maker himself would never be able to ease the pain she was feeling right now.<br>"Fenris. I.. I'm sorry, I would have told you about my powers, but I'd been so used to not using them.. It wasn't until last night that I realized-"

His fist slammed against the wall beside him, making her jump and stop in mid sentence.

"You _lied_ to me Hawke. You let me believe you were someone I could trust.. Someone I could confide in.. But you are just another one of _them_. I will never make this mistake again"  
>Mistake.<br>He thought trusting her was a mistake.  
>Unshed tears swelled in her eyes at his words.<br>"Fenris, you _can_ trust me! I've never done anything against you! I only reframed from telling you about my powers, they aren't even strong! My bloods to deluded.. I can only manage simple healing spells!"

It was obvious that her argument was doing nothing to persuade the elf back to her side. He moved from the wall, and grabbed a new bottle of alcohol to drink from.  
>"Fenris, please don't drink so much.. You already wont listen to me.. I just want to make things right again"<br>He slammed the bottle down on the table, causing some of its contents to spill onto the hard wood.  
>Some part of her mind, couldn't help but think that it'd stain if he didn't wipe it off soon.<br>"Make things right? You think you'll be able to_ make things __**right**_ again? Hawke"  
>Unable to stop herself, she pulled her sleeve down over her hand and leaned towards him to wipe the table off.<br>"Fenris.. Please let me _try_. Let me prove to you that I **am** worthy of your trust.. Again"  
>As she pulled back to look at him, she paused trying to figure out the look on his face. When he realized she was staring, his frown deepened.<br>"Why do you always do things like this Hawke.. Things that make no sense"  
>Blinking she opened her mouth to question him, but he grabbed her wrist, yanking it up towards his face.<br>"Like **this**. I do not understand you!"  
>She tried to pull away at his enraged tone, but his grip tightened keeping her where she was.<br>"You want me to trust you again? And yet you look at me with eyes full of fear?"  
>Was she afraid right now?<br>Yes, she wasa terrified, but not for herself like he thought. She was terrified that he'd leave, that he'd truly never trust her again.. Surely, if he remained like this, he wouldn't join her and the others at the Hanged Man, and she'd never get to see the rare smiles he let out every now and then.  
>"Fenris.. I.. I just don't want you.. To hate me"<br>She flinched as his grip tightened painfully around her wrist.  
>"Is that truly all you feel right now Hawke, you only wish that I wont <em>hate <em>you? The uncertainty on your face has nothing to do with the fact that I might rip your heart out any moment? I find that hard to believe."  
>Now, her tears fell. Unable to meet his eyes any longer she looked away, letting her head drop.<br>"It'd be pointless if you did so now.. You already have.."  
>He practically threw her wrist away from him.<br>"How can I ever believe another thing you say now Hawke.. You are no better than Anders.. It'll only be a matter of time before you subcome to the same temptations that Merrill has"

With his assumption she looked up in shock.  
>He believed that she would resort to <em>blood magic<em>? Balling her hands into fists she glared up at the elf, trying to hold back her sudden anger. He'd been her companion for so long now, how could he even think something like that? He _knew_ her hatred to forbidden magic, so why did he now doubt her dedication? Just because he knew she wielded _some_ magical abilities?

"You think I'd turn to **blood magic**? You honestly think I'd go to something so that I hate with every fiber of my **being**?"  
>She moved forward until she was standing toe to toe with him, and glared up at him, taking some satisfaction in his shocked expression.<br>"I was wrong to come here tonight.. I should have just fought against my want to see you! If you aren't going to _**physically **_ripmy heart out _as well_. I'll be leaving"

When he didn't make any motion of moving, she placed her hands against his chest to push him out of the way, but instead of moving him so she could leave, she found herself being shoved instead, by a very angry looking, _glowing_ Fenris.  
>"Should I do that then Hawke?"<br>When her back came against the wall he roughly tipped her head up to face him.  
>"<strong>Should<strong> I Hawke?"

Swallowing, she met his eyes but remained silent.  
>"Can you not respond now Hawke? Do not have any excuses for yourself now?"<br>She knew that no matter what she said now, if he truly **did** want to kill her, there would be no stopping him.  
>"I.. Truly don't care what you do now Fenris.. Kill me.. Let me leave.. You've made it clear that there's nothing I can do to gain your trust again.. All I am now is a dirty <em>mage<em> to you, killing me however, would be the most merciful thing you could do for me"

He didn't respond then, instead, his head tipped down slightly, making it impossible for her to see his eyes under his white hair.  
>Standing there with his hands on either side of her face, making a barrier that was meant to scare her, she examined the glowing lines of lyrium. They always amazed her, she'd found them attractive the moment that she'd met him. He'd told her stories about how his former master had used him and his markings to intimidate people he had visiting. He'd also told her about how painful the process was, from that moment on, she had made a point to visit him to see if he'd share any other stories, to some how manage to lighten the load that he carried. In that instant, she'd realized something, she was already head over heels for the Broody Elf.<br>"You want me to be merciful?"  
>She jumped at his voice, and returned her gaze to his face.<br>"Why should I be merciful to someone who has shown me nothing of the sort in-return?"

She didn't even have a second to think through what he'd just said, because his his mouth crushed down against hers almost painfully, pulling her into a possessive kiss that left her head reeling.  
>She could taste the wine that he'd drank earlier, so clearly she might as well of drank it herself. As he deepened the kiss, he ran his gauntlet covered hands down her arms, no doubt leaving small pink lines where his fingers had trailed.<br>Her mind was fogging, the longer his tongue caressed hers, the less and less she was able to think. He was drunk, probably more so than he'd ever been before. That was why he was kissing her right now, if he remembered this, remembered how she allowed him to kiss her, he'd be furious. Of course he'd be mad at _her_ since it'd be her fault that he was kissed her.  
>As his hands skimmed the bottom of her shirt, panic started to set in. There was no way he'd forgive her if things went farther than a kiss.<br>In an attempt to get away she moved, turning her face away from his.  
>"Fenris. I should go"<br>He didn't reply, instead he dropped his face into her neck and nipped the sensitive flesh there making her gasp.  
>"You will not leave.. Not until I'm done"<br>She just heard the thud of his gauntlets dropping onto the floor when his bare hands slipped under the soft fabric of her shirt to grip her sides.  
>She couldn't help but shiver as he licked her neck and made slow circles along her stomach with steady hands.<br>In one last attempt to stop him, she tried to push his his hands away, but only received a snarl of anger and a painful bite against her collar bone.  
>When she made a sound of protest, he grinned, pushing his hands father up her shirt until he cupped her breasts and flicked his thumbs over her nipples making her shudder against him.<br>"The more you respond to me Hawke, the more I want to punish you for making me this way"  
>At that he pulled up, keeping his eyes locked on her face he caught her nipples between his fingers and squeezed. It took all her strength not to cry out, but she knew if she did it'd only edge him on in his current state.<br>He smiled, almost evilly as she bit her lip and lowered his forehead against her own.  
>"Now thats more like it"<br>This time, when he claimed her mouth, it wasn't as angry as before. In fact, she almost found it endearing.  
>Second later, he had her shirt over her head leaving her bare to him. She watched, as he his eyes trailed over her, examining everything the moon light from the window revealed.<p> 


End file.
